Did you ever feel the weight of expectation either from the media or people around you, or was it just yourself putting the pressure on?
Predominantly it was myself, you have your own expectations and that’s why you kick yourself if you fall badly, and I wanted my family to see my achievements as well. Of course there was pressure from the media because when you’ve been a successful sportsperson they then assume that you’re always going to do well, but I was always known for getting a medal. No-one thought I’d ever get gold because I they assumed I’d get injured, so I thought ‘one day I’ll prove to you!’
Did you ever consider giving up?
I don’t think I would ever have totally given up, though there were times when I was tired of getting so close and being knocked back down again. I do think if you have a strong enough belief then you keep fighting for it though, and it’s only momentarily that you think ‘why am I putting myself through this’. In your heart you know you do it because you want to, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t frustrating at times.
It must have been an emotional rollercoaster, how did you keep your self-belief?
Yes, it was. No one ever sees behind the scenes, others just see whether it’s a good or bad performance. They don’t see the hours, minutes, seconds of effort that you’ve put into training, it’s ridiculous the lifestyle you lead. Then there’s the emotional side – particularly with an Olympic sport like athletics, which is quite lonely – they don’t see any of that. You’re at a level where you become one of the best in the world and it’s hard to get there and even harder to stay, but you just have to hold on to what you really believe you can achieve.
Your feelings about winning the 800m event at the Olympic Games in Athens were clearly visible on your face when you crossed the line, how did you feel inside?
It’s hard to describe because it meant so much. My face was a cross between shock, because I didn’t believe I could get a medal, and the overwhelming realisation that I’d become an Olympic champion. I was just in disbelief and was still disbelieving when I came back the next day to do the 1500m. I slept with the medal on my pillow, I thought I was going to wake up from a dream and I’d be standing on the start line!
What made you decide to run the 1500m as well?
Since I was 14 it was always the 1500m that I believed I could be an Olympic champion in, and I made the decision to run both the day before I flew in from our holding camp in Cyprus to Athens. It was a big risk because I would have to do six races within nine days, but I was in the shape of my life. I actually can say that if I hadn’t won the 800m I don’t think I would have won the 1500m because I would have put too much pressure on myself.
How did your life change after winning?
It was bizarre, I was already known in the sporting world but to come back from Athens and have everyone know your name and people screaming out of their windows at you was crazy. When you’re at the Olympics you don’t know what the country thinks of your achievements because you’re in a bubble. I came home and mum had 50 newspapers with me in, it was a lot to take in. The biggest thing I’ll remember is my homecoming parade in my home town; it was just the most amazing day, there were 80,000 people lined up on the streets.
What made you decide to retire?
For two reasons; I got badly injured again in 2005 – I was really struggling with my Achilles tendon and I thought ‘why am I putting myself through this again?’ and the other reason was the tragic loss of an acquaintance. I was having lunch with him one day and he told me that he’d fallen over playing tennis. Then I got a call three days later saying he had a brain tumour and was going to die within three weeks. It was a shock, just days before I’d been sitting with a guy full of energy who was going to do some work with me, and then he was told he had just three weeks to live just from falling over. That made me realise life was too short, and I needed to make the most of it.
What were the first days after retiring like?
Initially I felt relieved to finish, I didn’t do anything for six months and just ate every takeaway and piece of cake I could manage. Then I realised how weird it felt, I’d gone through a long career and prior to winning my gold I’d never once thought about retiring.
What was the greatest challenge of your career?
Remaining focused and keeping the self-belief alive during the physical and emotional challenges that you have to go through to try and be the best. It’s very easy to say no or stop at the first hurdle, especially after getting so many injuries, but I had to pick myself back up again.